Well, here we are with another iPhone Roundup! This time we have three apps: an absolutely terrible one, a simply brilliant one and a good one — in that order as well.
Dream Wife
Being the iOS fanatic that I am, I’ve tried out hundreds of apps on the App Store. Right now, I have over 500 installed, and that only accounts for about a third of the apps I’ve actually played with. I can honestly say this: Dream Wife is the most atrocious iPhone app I’ve ever used. If it’s not the terrible interface or the low quality sound clips, it’s the cringe worthy quotes that the app sells itself on.
Basically, it’s a soundboard of cheesy quotes made by a dream wife. It pretty much offers the complete opposite quotes to all of the stereotypical sayings that come with marriage. You’ll be given to opportunity to leave the toilet seat up, leave the cap of the toothpaste and the option to watch sports instead of… spooning your wife.
If it’s not the crude and awful sayings, it’s the low quality audio of the clips. Each are said by the same woman who puts on her best 1940s American wife stereotype voice and fails — but not without trying. She’ll try to inject emotion into the script, but it’s barely audible over the crackling sound that permeates through each clip. Don’t insult your iPhone by installing this app on it — the worst app I’ve ever used.
1/5
Astro Dodge
Astro Dodge is developed by Assyria Game Studio. If that name sounds familiar, it’s because we’ve already reviewed two of their apps already. We’ve come to love Assyria Game Studio and their awesome iPhone apps. They seem to be sticking with the colourful, neon visual style and kudos to them; it works wonderfully, and it’d be a shame if they went with a traditional look. It’s becoming a bit of a brand for them now, and it takes advantage of iPhone’s advanced screen.
We won’t pretend the story is an amazingly good one. It’s a cliché in this industry, but it works well here nonetheless. The earth is crumbling and humanity has turned to the universe to salvage materials to help maintain the earth and keep humanity alive. There’s no fancy method; you just jump into your spaceship and collect a substance called nano-plasma, which will keep us lovely humans alive.
This nano-plasma is scattered across the game world. Also scattered are rocks and boulders. Your job is to avoid these obstacles as best possible. Two things: direction and speed. You’ll need to weave in and out of these problems to reach the nano-plasma. Enter speed. You may find you need to reach a spot quite quickly. Simply swipe your finger in the direction you wish to go. Once you collect enough plasma, a black hole will develop and you need to find it to make your escape.
I love this app. Apart from the obvious clichés and predictable nature, the game continues the unique visual style of the studio, has a satisfying control system and is an all-round fun game. Not only that, but it’s a lengthy game as well. We’ve also come to love Assyria. This is another prime example of this awesome studio, and we recommend you keep an eye on the app store for more work from them.
5/5
Harmonious
With an App Store flooded with drawing and creation apps, it’s a struggle to find one that actually works. They usually tend to be okay, but they never really feel complete. They generally have some kind of flaw in them, or there’s generally something wrong with them. Harmonious, from what I’ve seen, has absolutely nothing majorly wrong with it.
The app basically gives you a blank canvas, a number of sketching tools, an intensive set of options and lets you draw. It’s simplistic, but it works amazingly well. This app also takes advantage of the screen capabilities as well. The slower you pull your hand across the screen, the bolder and more prominent your sketch will become. This app stands out for one reason, though.
It uses a very interesting predictive tool. If you, for example, draw a circle, it adds in subtle lines and marks in all the right places to greatly enhance whatever you’re drawing. It could be an eye, or a football. Whatever it is, it makes the drawing look pretty cool. A lot better than what it would be otherwise. There’s also the option to save your drawing to your phone, which complements the app’s other qualities nicely.
The best drawing app on iPhone? No, I don’t think it’s the best. Pretty close, though. If you’re looking for an app simple to sketch, this is the app for you.
Cool reviews. I will have to try out Astro Dodge and harmonious. I have to recommend the game Mublip to you! Go try that out if you’re willing to spend the $4.
Thanks for the recommendation Cole! We’ll check out muBlip and include it in the next Roundup!